Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Six Things You Don't Know About Me

I was tagged by cndcowgirl (oh wow I think I just "got" the meaning of that name, lol) I'm slow sometimes. Anyway I was tagged to spill my guts so here it goes. Sorry no pics with this post!

1) I don't eat anything with fur, feathers or big brown eyes. Sorry fishies and shrimps you are fair game:-/ My reasoning is fish (usually) aren't factory farmed and don't go through the same tortures as say cows, pigs and chickens. I know they do suffer to an extent:-( At the GA Aquarium I have to run past the Shrimp exhibit or any other fish I have eaten:-x I totally respect and have no problem with people "farming" their own food.

2) I "live" on Paxil, done so for 10 years now. It is my happy pill of choice. I'm a huge believer in chemical imbalances that require meds to be "fixed". The difference it has made in my life is unbelievable and somewhat indescribable. It's a hard topic and feeling to explain. My mom used to send me articles that being on anxiety or anti-depressants can shorten your life in one way or another (I think the main one is liver problems), but she said when I said the following that it finally hit her how important Paxil is to my life : "If it shortens my life by 10 years then so be it, life isn't worth living when you feel the way I did everyday before paxil".
When people try to understand what depression and anxiety is all about I say "Think about the worst day you ever had- you were probably sad, confused, angry, anxious, questioned EVERYTHING in your life, couldn't think straight, didn't want to be around anyone, can't see the good in anything no matter how hard you try, right? (hey at least you had SOMETHING that made you feel this way)- well try feeling like that EVERYDAY of your life, from 4 years old to your early 20's. (I didn't get on Paxil till I was 20). Tiz very bizarre and for a lack of better words it will mess with your head! Here's an example: I think I was 6 or 7 years old and I had drawn a bunch of dogs in a notebook. I show them to my sis and she says, pointing to one in particular, "That is the best dog you've ever drawn"... so what do I do? Smile and say thank you like most would? Nah, I cried my eyes out and ripped up all the dogs I had drawn because her comment meant (to me) that she didn't like any of my other drawings.
My parents took me to counselor after counselor, I even had some blood tests and head x-rays because I complained of headaches alot back then. As a kid I also had trouble sleeping and suffered from night terrors. But back then depression or chemical imbalances just weren't a popular thing to look for in kids. My parents were told to give me "warm fuzzies" that I just wanted attention. I remember having to look at those stupid books of warm fuzzies -thumbprint with smiley faces. All the "signs" were there for me as a kid with a chem. imbalance, but didn't know what to do with them. I do think if it wasn't for my wonderful parents and giving me such a strong sense of family and love, doing right from wrong, and well simply just being there I would have left this world a long time ago.
OK, I didn't mean to ramble so much on that subject, but yeah I used to not be happy:-( I think I'm still "afraid" to be happy in some ways, but I can say without a doubt that I'm pretty content with life now:-)

3) :-) This "outs" my sista too... but we can run on all fours as we call it. We used to turn the house upside down making a jumping course out of couch cushions, brooms and chairs, boxes, baskets, whatever ever we could make into "sweet jumps" we did. Our poor mom had to always go around our jumps to get from room to room, no room was easy to get in or out of :-) When I say all fours, I mean we would run and jump landing on our hands and feets, not hands and knee action. We could jump over 3ft jumps with ease, I think the highest we ever jumped was 4ft? Although I don't practice this skill daily anymore and can't jump I can still be found "cantering" in the living room from time to time:-) and NO the Limo Cam will never be on to witness this:-)

4) I hate reading. I prefer to look at the purty pictures:-) Most of the time I will read everyone's blogs in their entirety, but sometimes I just skim over them if they are lengthy. That's why I sometimes post twice on comments, cuz I go back and skim more and have to post again. I read so slow and don't really comprehend what I read unless I really pay attention and well I'm mostly lazy and have the attention span of a monkey.

5) I have common sense. I just chose not to use it all the time:-) I'm not book smart cuz see above to #4 But seriously, especially at work I seem to know what to say, how to say it, when to say it, who to email it to or copy it to, how not to repeat work and know what to really get up in arms about... Today someone copied me on an email: "Does Denise have time to do such and such?" Seriously? WTF either don't send that to me or ask me directly!

6) My left leg get's "stocked up" daily. I'm like a stalled horse with wind puffs:-) Seriously something called "mill roise" disease aka lymphodema (sp)runs in the family on my mom's side. Apparently our lymph fluids don't circulate well and my left leg is fat at the end of the day from the fluid build up. A k'ankle if you will. Most all my relatives with it have it in both legs, for some odd reason it's only in my left leg.

Oh I lied about the pics, check out my left leg in the pic ;-)

Oh gosh now I'm supposed to "kick" this to others so we can find out about them too! So I now kick it to the following:

Needle Noses -I seriously want to know why you hate toast so much!
DressageLife Kristie
Lady in Waiting

OK, I tagged or kicked 2 greyhound bloggers and 2 horse bloggers:-) Hopefully they come here and see their tags cuz I'm probably too lazy to email them...


cdncowgirl said...

Great job!
#1 - can't eat shrimp. The smell alone makes me naseous. Sadly Pie loves shrimpies. lol
#2 - this was probably a bit tough for you, like my #6 was for me. Bravo for putting it out there.
#3-#6 all gave me giggles. Your poor sis, I'm sure she appreciated being "outed". lol
I made jumps as a kid too, however I didn't go over them on all fours! (I will confess I tried eating grass once) :o
I am an avid reader. I can almost have a movie play in my head to go along with what I'm reading. I cannot STAND to have others read TO me though.

cdncowgirl said...

oh, I want to know what's so terrible about toast too!!!

As for my "name"... it is soooo unoriginal. I signed onto blogger kinda spur of the moment and couldn't think of anything else. cdn = canadian (which I'm proud of) and cowgirl b/c I ride western. Never been an actual cowgirl.

Never Say Never Greyhounds said...

Dang it, Denise. I didn't want everyone to know about my talent running like a horse. Although I am quite proud of the fact that I finally learned to canter on the left lead. Being a "righty" I was like a European race horse (cause the run clockwise). Now I can doing flying lead changes and tempe changes like a Grand Prix dressage horse. :-)

Glad you aren't sick in the head anymore, Denise :-). Sorry I complimented your dog drawing :-).

Wind puffs sound so much better than (sounds like "mel-roids: disease).


jesterjigger said...

I taught my husband to canter (standing) last week, I also taught him how to do flying lead changes, in addition to two tempis and one tempis. I used to canter on my hands and knees all the time (and still do sometimes, playing with the cats) but it's almost impossible for me to get the left lead.

The Knutson's said...

Thanks for stopping by!

I also have trouble with the whole meat issue, and to help ease my conscience, I only buy local and oraganic, chicken, pork and beef, that is raised by a farm that we know, and slaughtered--I hate that word too :(--right out in the field. At least they do not suffer. Nobody deserves to suffer when they die!

Both of my kids--and yes, my sisters and I when we were kids!!--can run around on all fours. They look like Mowgli form the Jungle Book.

Lastly...if Paxil works great for your anxiety and depression, then by all means, STAY ON IT!!! Once you know what you suffer from, and you find the correct drug, or combo of drugs to help it, you feel so much better.
I agree with your reasoning about shortening your life by 10 years too (lol)!

Anonymous said...

oh i love these. i've been stalled on ideas for a while. or i get posts that need photos to work, but i have none.

okay, working on this. i'll make sure you all understand why toast is lame-o!

i'd start now, but it's been a long weekend of running and doing doggy stuff. now my furkids just passed gas. time to flee!

Anonymous said...

oh oh oh, and someone said "less is more today" and for the first time i wondered if they read your blog. i've lost the idiomatic expression to the blog title.