Friday, February 1, 2008

I love you Spooky more than you will ever know

I'm in such shock, but at the same time relieved and just terribly sad :cry: She was MY first dog, I had others, but they were never mine, they always had someone else they felt higher lover for, not Spooky. She was my shadow and she was perfect, so perfect that we constantly broke the golden rule of owning a greyhound, never let them off lead outside a fenced area- she was never going to leave my side. Even at the farm where she had 62 acers to roam where ever she pleased, she was always RIGHT there with me, if I ducked into a stall or tackroom she would go looking for me and would have such a look of relief on her face that she had found me. She was mine and I was hers.

Her final moments--------------------------------------The back of my CR-V looks like a horror movie :cry: but it could not have been better timing. Matt and I came home to get her around 11, got her in the back of my car and I headed back to work (we had a 1:40pm bet appointment for the laser treatment) on route she cried out in pain and it was for about a minute, I talked to her and told her it was ok and to lay down. She settled some and cried out again, at that point I almost just drove straight to the vet's, but we still were an hour early and I had to relieve my co worker for lunch. Spooky had once again settled and was laying down. I got to work and popped the back hatch and she stuck her head out and put her head on my arm and I petted her and told her I was sorry we had a terrible morning. I had her lay down again, got her water and a kong with frozen yogurt. I went back to work, but knew I was losing her- not that I thought she was dieing right then and there- but that she was giving up. I went back to my desk and cried, Matt came over, bringing me pizza and saw I was crying and asked what was wrong, I told him about her crying out and he asked if I wanted him to check on her, I said yes. He came back quickly and said "you need to take her to the vet now" I followed him out and he opened the back door of the CR-v and all I saw was blood and my Spooky laying their doing her best to breathe. I knew then she was dieing. Her tounge, mouth and neck were all swelling up and blood was pouring out of her mouth. I jumped in the back seat so I could look down at her and not in her eyes :cry: I petted her the whole time and told her how sorry I was and how much I loved her over and over and over again. Matt has called ahead so the vet office knew we were on our way. We were 5 mins away. Problem was the vet was at lunch, we were told he'd been paged and was 5 mins away, but it was more like 15. A vet tech came out to take her and I told her no, she will be put to sleep here, there is no point in picking her up and taking her in there. I stuck my fingers in both her ears and rubbed them, she stopped panting enough to enjoy her last eargasm as I used to call them because she would moan in such delight. The vet came finally and put her out of her poor misery.Matt drove me home and had to go back to work. I've made all the phone calls and now I just sit and think about the day and how horrible this experience was, it could have been worse- I don't know what I would have done if I had come home alone to find her in this condition.Matt seems to always be there when I need him most.


Laura said...

What can I say...
She will always be missed at the farm, whether it will be as :

Spooky Dooky
Black dog

Or any of the other hundred names that escape me right now. There will never be another Spooky. snif


Anonymous said...

UDBB lurker just wanting to add condolences for your horrific loss :..(

bartowpeach said...

Nisey, Reading your latest entry really brought me to tears. Spookina was such a wonderful Granddog. The whole family feels your loss and I'm going to miss her so much.You were a wonderful pet Mom to her. You two had such a great partnership and gave each other so much over the years. Godspeed Spooky. I'm glad you're not hurting anymore. Love, M

Maximus said...

Oh D. Big hugs. I just found out and cried.
bye Spooky I didn't know you long, but you were a good good girl. have fun chasing rabbits in heaven.


Anonymous said...

I will miss her........When ever you were coming over she was expected. Always a "LADY".

Jennifer said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I know you are hurting, but at least Spooky is well again and has all of her neurological function back. Now she can shadow you everywhere you go and never be left behind. She is probably loving that right now.